Since a few week, I have been feeling down.
I can't control my life : the morning I wake up with things to do I have been forced to do.

For example, the website I have been working on... I said to my... friend my work should be seen as finished : somebody'll do the maintenance for us. But he always comes back because of bugs or evolution. Last time, we had something like a fight. The issue when you work with ... friend is to make a real contract. I didn't. I just shake hand. It's not enough because he is using me. So I accept to correct bugs. I couldn't say no. Did I have the choice? Yes of cource. I could have refused. But this is a friend and I said I would go to the end. But when in front of my PC, I don't want to do that and I hate myself for my weakness.

In my head, this project is over.
However, my father is going to start a new firm and he asks me to do a website. As I am living at their home for now (I am also trying to create a firm by myself) and for family reason, I have accepted. Without thinking. Did I have the choice? Yes, of course. I could have refused. But my parents gave me so much (peace & trust specially) I can't refuse.

Again, I am president of an association of people who like Japan. Last week, there was a convention. It was planned I only had to help. But the project manager of this convention had a nervous breakdown so I had to work on it. Did I have the choice? Yes, of course. It's only an association and I could have refused. But I had to take everything in hand as there were 20 people there to work for the association. I couldn't let them down.
I hated myself for all the stress I had.

And so on, and so on : I had to go on week end in Normandy but it's cancelled, my mail is exploding, I have meetings, ...
I hate that.